This month on the blog, we’d like to introduce you to self-compassion – a topic we’re sure to return to frequently. To boil it down to its essence, self-compassion is the stance of turning towards oneself as an inner ally, rather than an inner enemy – particularly in times of suffering and pain.
Drs. Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer break mindful self-compassion into three components: mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness. Mindfulness brings a balanced and accepting awareness to moments of suffering. In order to practice self-compassion during painful times, we must first know that we’re hurting – this is where mindfulness comes in. Common humanity refers to the understanding that all humans suffer and struggle – that your pain is not personal or a sign of badness/weakness. No human is perfect, and we all make mistakes and experience regret at times. It’s an unavoidable part of the human condition, not a sign of personal failing. And finally, self-kindness involves turning to ourselves in moments of pain with care and compassion; the same way we would turn to a loved one who is hurting. It’s very common to kick ourselves when we’re down. To offer ourselves messages of “what’s wrong with me?!” and other forms of criticism.
We will be exploring mindful self-compassion frequently in future blog posts and discussions. To summarize research findings thus far: people who are more self-compassionate endorse higher levels of life satisfaction, better relationships, stress resilience, and general wellness – as well as lower levels of anxiety and depression. And some great news: self-compassion can be cultivated, so don’t fret if you tend more towards self-criticism. Participants in a standard MBSR course endorse significantly higher levels of self-compassion at the end of the course than when they began. And the mindful self-compassion program, which we’ll describe in future posts, is an eight week program explicitly designed to increase self-compassion through a series of formal and informal mindfulness-based practices.
Until next time, wishing you a self-compassionate month as you navigate the inevitable ups and downs.