Self-Compassion Versus Self-Esteem

This month we’ll continue our talk on the topic of self-compassion, and explore some of the differences between self-esteem and self-compassion.  Self-esteem refers to the degree to which we evaluate ourselves positively.  Self-compassion, by contrast, refers to how we relate to ourselves when we’re hurting – with kindness and understanding (see the previous blog post for a full discussion on components of self-compassion).  While the two might seem similar at first, there are crucial differences between them to understand.

Self-compassion is a way we relate to ourselves.  It emphasizes common humanity, and includes the expectation that we will inevitably make mistakes, betray our values at times, and occasionally disappoint ourselves and people around us.  In other words, when we are self-compassionate, we let go of the expectation of perfection.  When we bring self-compassion to painful and disappointing moments, we are free to let go of the question “what is wrong with me?”, and focus instead on soothing ourselves while learning from our mistakes.  In this way, self-compassion actually builds resilience.

By contrast, self-esteem is more focused on how we are “doing” – instead of emphasizing common humanity, it emphasizes personal performance.  High self-esteem leads to feeling really good, because we perceive ourselves to be “knocking it out of the park”.  The preconditions for self-esteem are many – first of all, we have to perform well, or look really good, or in some kind of way possess some really wonderful quality.  Of course, while our performance is strong and our sense of possessing whatever that wonderful quality is, is high, we feel great!  But….when our performance slips, or that wonderful quality wanes, self-esteem tends to wane with it.  In this way, self-esteem can truly be a fair-weather friend.  It’s there when things are going great, and abandons us when we most need support.

Second, self-esteem can encourage social comparison, as opposed to common humanity.  By judging ourselves as “better than”, self-esteem increases.  The trouble with this reliance on social comparison are clear.  Social comparison isn’t so good for relationships, and doesn’t allow us to truly celebrate and enjoy another’s success. And – it falls apart!  There will always be someone smarter, stronger, harder-working (add any other quality or possession here).  Finally, because high self-esteem feels great while it lasts, people have a tendency to seek it out.  Unfortunately, this can lead to tendencies like devaluing people around us, over-preparing for tasks, perfectionism, and avoidance of risks that could threaten self-esteem. 

When you find yourself just feeling great about yourself, by all means, enjoy the moment!  Savior the feeling and let it sink in.  But – thanks to self-compassion, we don’t need to rely on that feeling, or try to create more of it, or equate it with self-worth.  By cultivating self-compassion, we build a resilience and resource that is there for us when self-esteem simply cannot be.  Mindfulness practitioners endorse higher levels of self-compassion than non-meditators – yet another way that mindfulness increases wellbeing and stress resilience.

Mindful Self-Compassion

This month on the blog, we’d like to introduce you to self-compassion – a topic we’re sure to return to frequently. To boil it down to its essence, self-compassion is the stance of turning towards oneself as an inner ally, rather than an inner enemy – particularly in times of suffering and pain.

Drs. Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer break mindful self-compassion into three components: mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness. Mindfulness brings a balanced and accepting awareness to moments of suffering. In order to practice self-compassion during painful times, we must first know that we’re hurting – this is where mindfulness comes in. Common humanity refers to the understanding that all humans suffer and struggle – that your pain is not personal or a sign of badness/weakness. No human is perfect, and we all make mistakes and experience regret at times. It’s an unavoidable part of the human condition, not a sign of personal failing. And finally, self-kindness involves turning to ourselves in moments of pain with care and compassion; the same way we would turn to a loved one who is hurting. It’s very common to kick ourselves when we’re down. To offer ourselves messages of “what’s wrong with me?!” and other forms of criticism.

We will be exploring mindful self-compassion frequently in future blog posts and discussions. To summarize research findings thus far: people who are more self-compassionate endorse higher levels of life satisfaction, better relationships, stress resilience, and general wellness – as well as lower levels of anxiety and depression. And some great news: self-compassion can be cultivated, so don’t fret if you tend more towards self-criticism. Participants in a standard MBSR course endorse significantly higher levels of self-compassion at the end of the course than when they began. And the mindful self-compassion program, which we’ll describe in future posts, is an eight week program explicitly designed to increase self-compassion through a series of formal and informal mindfulness-based practices.

Until next time, wishing you a self-compassionate month as you navigate the inevitable ups and downs.

Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation

This month, we’ll look at the connection between mindfulness and emotion regulation.  Several studies have demonstrated that mindfulness meditation training results in an increase in emotion regulation.  Emotion regulation, in general, refers to a person’s ability to effectively experience emotions.  Skills related to emotion regulation include: knowing when an emotion is present, accurately identifying emotions, nonjudgmental acceptance of emotions, and effectively soothing and down-regulating painful emotions.  People with low emotion regulation skills might find themselves swept away and hijacked by their emotions, or on the flip side, excessively avoiding emotions leading to a sense of emotional numbness.

The study we’re looking at today looks at neural mechanisms (aka what’s going on in your brain!) that might explain why mindfulness meditation leads to better emotion regulation.  Brain areas of interest in this study include the amygdala and the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (VMPFC).  In general, when the amygdala is activated, emotions like anger and fear are generated.  When the VMPFC is activated, emotions are regulated, leading to less emotional reactivity and a quicker return to baseline.

This study found that long-term meditators demonstrated less amygdala activation than short-term meditators or non-meditators.  So, in response to situations that might trigger an emotion like fear or anger, long-term meditators were less likely to experience those reactions at all.  This was especially true for long-term meditators with a lot of meditation retreat hours.

Short-term meditators in this study were defined as people who recently completed an MBSR course.  The study found that short-term meditators showed higher levels of amygdala-VMPFC connectivity than non-meditators.  Meaning, when short-term meditators become emotionally triggered, those emotions are more quickly regulated when the VMPFC comes online.  Which leads to thinking more clearly, responding more effectively, and stepping off the emotionally reactive treadmill early and often.  Yet another example of how mindfulness meditation training, truly is brain training.

The link for the article we discussed today is:

Kral, T .R. A., Schuyler, B. S., Mumford, J. A., Rosenkranz, M. A., Lutz, A., & Davidson, R. J. (2018). Impact of short- and long-term mindfulness meditation training on amygdala reactivity to emotional stimuli. NeuroImage, 181, 301-13. https://doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2018.07.013

And a few other studies related to mindfulness and emotion regulation:

Goldin, P.R, Gross, J.J., 2010.  Effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) on emotion regulation in social anxiety disorder. Emotion 10, 83-91.

Ortner, C.N.M., Kilner, S.J., Zelazo, P.D., 2007. Mindfulness meditation and reduced emotional influence on a cognitive task. Motiv. Emot. 31, 271-283.

Hofmann, S.G., Sawyer, A.T., Witt, A.A., Oh, D., 2010.  The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: a meta-analytic review. J. Consult. Clin. Psychol. 78, 169-183.

Mindfulness Meditation and Hypertension

This month on the blog, we’ll be looking at the results of a very recent RCT (randomized controlled trial) published in the Journal of Human Hypertension, looking at the impacts of mindfulness meditation training on adults with hypertension.  In sum, the results of the study suggest that mindfulness meditation may offer adults with hypertension a host of benefits, including not only lowering blood pressure and related health risks, but psychological benefits as well.

A bit more about this particular study….

For future reference, an RCT is considered to be the “gold standard” of research design.  While no study is perfect, RCTs aim to minimize bias by randomly assigning participants to one of two conditions:  treatment as usual (control group), or the treatment being studied, while holding all other factors constant.

Considering the prevalence of high blood pressure (AKA hypertension) in adults in America, there is high interest in cost effective, non-invasive strategies to help people lower their blood pressure safely and effectively.  High blood pressure (hypertension) is a risk factor for several serious health complications, including heart attack and stroke.

In this study, 42 adults with normal-high blood pressure or stage 1 hypertension were randomly assigned to one of two conditions:  health education intervention (control group), or a mindfulness meditation condition.  Both conditions were administered in eight two-hour sessions.  The mindfulness meditation condition was very similar to a standard MBSR course, with a few modifications specific to treating hypertension.

Following the completion of the interventions, participants in the mindfulness meditation condition had significantly lower systolic blood pressure (that’s the top number- also thought to possibly be the more important measure of health risk) than the health education condition.  At 20 weeks post-intervention, the mindfulness meditation completers’ systolic blood pressure dropped 13 mmHg from baseline, while those in the control condition dropped 1 mmHg.  Additionally,  at 8 weeks mindfulness meditation completers also reported lower levels of anxiety, stress and depression.  At 20 weeks, mindfulness meditation completers reported lower perceived stress scores.

The citation for the article we discussed today is:

Márquez, P. H., Feliu-Soler, A., Solé-Villa, M. J.,…Arroyo-Díaz, J. A. (2018). Benefits of mindfulness meditation in reducing blood pressure and stress in patients with arterial hypertension. J Human Hypertension.

Let us know if you have questions about the study!  We hope to see you soon.  We’ll be back next month to discuss another recent research study related to mindfulness-based interventions.

Hello! And Welcome!

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We are honored, humbled, and very excited to introduce ourselves and our services to the Monmouth County area!  We are two local psychologists with a passion for bringing responsible and heartfelt mindfulness-based programs and training to our local community.  As psychologists and people in the world, we have seen and felt how suffering (of all shapes and sizes) can be transformed by cultivating the qualities of mindfulness.

All of our upcoming groups will be listed on our website, and we will be sure to let you know about them in monthly emails.  Additionally, we will be publishing a monthly blog summarizing a few recent research findings related to mindfulness, and the implications for personal practice.  We encourage you to peruse our website to learn more about us and our services.

Please be in touch with any curiosities or questions about who we are, what we do, or how we might be a resource for you.  We are really looking forward to getting to know our community.

With gratitude,

Erin and Josh